When Envy Knocks: Let It Visit, Not Stay
It’s Sunday again—my favorite day to write. Sundays feel unhurried, like the world has exhaled. And since I know you cherish these letters, here we are again.
Today, I want to talk about envy and jealousy—things we’re taught early, through comparisons with siblings, friends, and even strangers from worlds far from ours.
No one is immune to that twinge. But while these feelings may visit, they should never take up permanent space in our hearts. Love, courage, and appreciation should be what fills us—not comparison, resentment, or lack.
Accept that they exist, but they shouldn’t stay.The first step is accepting that these emotions exist in all of us, but they shouldn’t linger. They are visitors, not tenants.
Educate yourself—know that they only bring us down.The second is understanding that they aren’t worth holding onto. Being well-read has taught me that they only bring us down, never lift us up. We must always try to resolve them, not indulge them.
Stay self-aware.Self-awareness is key. The moment you feel envy or jealousy creeping in, pause. Name them. “Ah, there you are.” That simple acknowledgment weakens their grip.
Ask: is this even real?Then, ask yourself—is this even real? Sometimes, these emotions are just noise, a passing discomfort, not something that truly matters. Many times, we don’t even genuinely want what we think we do.\
Find what they’re pointing to.But when they persist, look deeper. Envy and jealousy can be clues to what we truly long for. If that’s the case, turn them into motivation instead of resentment.
Look up, not around.One thing that has always helped me is keeping my gaze forward. I never wanted to be like the people around me, and I still don’t. My goals have always been far ahead, so there’s never been a reason to compare myself to my immediate circle. When your aspirations are vast, small comparisons lose their power.
Would you trade lives?And finally, the question that never fails me—Would I trade my entire life for theirs? Not just their wins, but their struggles, heartbreaks, and burdens too. The answer is always a big, resounding no. Every life carries unseen battles, just as we carry our own. We may not know their struggles, but we certainly know ours—and it’s better to face the ones we understand.
So when envy or jealousy knock, don’t ignore them—face them. If they have something to teach you, learn. If not, let them go.
I hope this helps. And if it doesn’t, feel free to ignore it. Just know that I hold your best interests in my heart.
I hope you’re having a peaceful Sunday.